Woodlands, Oakenshaw

Booked at 5pm and got a table at 8pm on a saturday evening. Not a city centre restaurant, more of a local pub that does grub. You'll need to know where it is to find it. Stilton Mushrooms and breaded warm camembert for starters. The cheese served with branston which seemed strange to begin with but the combination was quite good.

Main course of fillet steak topped with paté and served in a port & mushroom sauce. This was excellent. Medium rare and just how I like 'em. 3cm tall, burnt on top but juicy pink inside. Melted in the mouth. Chef came over to see us as he knew my partner and told us we'd just eaten Bradford beef from East Bierley.

I took salad which was a bit weak. Kitchen sink variety and when I asked for a dressing it arrived but didn't actually taste of anything. I wisely declined home made chips and veg and partner had great trouble getting halfway down the mass of chips that were served. Way too much. Chef seemed to think more was good. I'd say less is more.

But the steak was sublime. Solid meat, no waste and cooked perfectly.

The Russian Restaurant, Bradford

This is the conversation at the end of the night.

"Did you enjoy your meal sir?"
"Would you like me to be honest?"
"Please do"
"The answer is no. The starter took one hour to arrive, The main course took a further 45 minutes. This is too slow. Other parties arrived after us and were served before us, that table of ten people were served within ten minutes"
"You should have emailed us before you arrived with your starter and main course"
"Other restaurants don't ask this - you never told me when I booked"
"Large parties need their food quickly - they emailed their order to us - and we have a large menu Sir"
"Make it shorter"
"It's difficult to manage when everyone turns up at the same time. If they come in as 2's or 4's it's much easier - we have 85 covers"
"This is your internal problem - sort it out yourself - other restaurants manage it"

At this point I had to stand up and leave the table as another excuse would have been forthcoming. No offer to reduce the price. No apology. A complimentary drink was offered but this wasn't much use to a driver.

The food - Borscht. I was under the impression this was beetroot broth. No beetroots were used in the making of this soup. It was hearty and tasty but it wasn't Borscht. No bread was offered. Salmon Pancake - can't really fault them. It was a pancake with salmon in it.

Main courses of firstly Chicken with orange covered in cheese. Didn't work. I had Golubsti - The menu said 'Famous Russian and Polish homemade dish. Cabbage leaves filled with pork and beef minced meat, rice, fresh herbs & vegetables in a cream sauce. Served with fresh veg and mashed potatoes'. There was no rice, no veg, no cream sauce. The minced beef and pork was there but so finely minced that it was insipid.There was a salad which was so poor it might have been prepared by a 5 year old. One slice of cucumber. Two slices of badly sliced tomato, some very small bits of red cabbage and 12 niblets of sweetcorn. No dressing. Not worth eating. Mains took 5 minutes to eat - most was left. We didn't bother with coffee or anything else. We wanted to get out. At 945pm just 105 minutes after sitting down we were seriously thinking of leaving. At 946pm the main course arrived. At 10pm we left.

If all russian food and service is like this I'm not surprised that they all look so dour. Give me a keema mushroom masala any day.