Brewsters, Merthyr Tydfil

Same chain as Birmingham last week but a minimalist Caesar salad. Lettuce (cos and friseé allegedly), croutons and parmesan shavings. The parmesan was awful. Unless it was a welsh variant with a touch of caerphilly the only other taste I could identify was rubber. I told the waiter that I didn't think it was parmesan and he assured me it was. No apology or money back or satisfaction guaranteed. 3/10

Steak and chips OK. Difficult to ruin and they didn't ruin it. Waiters sang a lot (badly) 6/10.

Retired to bed but at 10-20 decided I could do with more refreshments. Went back to find they'd closed. No customers so they closed. Travel Inns are going to lose business if they stick with these type of restaurants/pubs.

Posh Nosh, Oxford

University of Oxford, St Anne's College, cool evening in May; après conference. Mellon cut as a fan with wafer-thin leaves still joined at the apex with its spiced orange coulis and finely chopped crystalised ginger on the side served with a freshly-baked granary roll and creamy butter. Main course: thick, tender, grilled turbot with a breadcrumb/parmesan crust served on a bed of spinach and mushroom with a cream sauce and tiny roast potatoes. Ensuite, creme brulèe made from devon cream with an inch-thick caramelised topping; mints, coffee and cream (no choice of milk; get it down and like it). As much Marques de Villa Malvasia Spanish white wine as an Englishman can consume (about six glasses).

NO CEASAR SALAD AVAILABLE!

Another Day, Another Pizza Express

Pizza Express, Lytham (near Blackpool). Full upon arrival. Went for 30 minute walk to return to warm welcome. Caesar Salad main course. Fine example, bracketed by Mediterranean style grilled thingys and home made Tiramisu - look, at least I didn't go to the chippy.

Whit Bands, Greenfield

You'll know about these if you live near Saddleworth or like brass bands. Friday was another wonderful evening in Greenfield. Two moments made my day.

1) Just before a band was about to start its parade up the main street a trendy Vauxhall Astra drove towards them. Normally the pedestrians would disperse sheepishly and the car would sweep through the gap but the drummer hit the beat and the band struck up and with two hundred years of tradition behind them the band started marching. The two young men in the car realised quite soon that they had to reverse back into a side street and wait their turn.

2) Black Dyke turned up this year. They ostentatiously carried an enormous trophy up the street but when they got to the test piece on the field they were magnificent. But that's not the whole story. Waiting to play and watching the Black Dyke Mills were Dobcross Youth Band composed of children from 6 to 12. Only starting out in the world of music, they had to follow one of the best bands in the world. They did it. The applause for them was louder than for the Black Dyke.

Caesar Salad - No. However black peas were being sold at the Methodist Church but they were so popular they'd sold out by 9pm. Recipe to follow.

Great Park, Birmingham

Usual ingredients plus Tomatoes, Cucumbers, a half baguette and a few nachos that obviously were destined for another plate. Lots of dressing but still not that good. Some brown lettuce. Old hippy saying never eat yellow snow - modern version - never eat brown lettuce. 5/10. The top of the range steak with peppercorn sauce and stilton cheese lumps was OK after I reminded the waitress that the peppercorn sauce and stilton cheese lumps seemed to have been mislaid. 7/10

Fast Food Phreaking

Having a son who works at a pub what does food I share a few thoughts with you.

Firstly - Never choose chicken nuggets. Not only are they made from weapons grade chicken bones but they are usually cooked in bulk and left to keep warm for several hours before serving.

Secondly - Never trust the sell by dates of any food. Son has seen manager going through the refrigerator at the end of the day and changing daydotting stickers. Never heard of a daydotting sticker? It tells staff the use by date. Manager just amends each sticker to make sure it's not reached its use by date. (Even if it has).

Thirdly - All Salads are made by the waiter/waitress. Vast bowls of lettuce and other salad veg are prepared at the beginning of the day and turned into salads as and when required. No chefs are involved.

Fourthly - If you go to a well known pub chain like MTGG a caesar salad is a tortilla wrap cooked until it's warm then put on a plate in a concave shape, filled with whatever lettuce they have then Caesar dressing on top. No mention of any other ingredients.

Asda Caesar Salad Dressing

Oh dear. Asda usually gets things right but the own brand dressing is rather weak. They do list the ingredients but it's the viscosity that's the problem. It doesn't pour elegantly out of the bottle it rushes out rapidly. Far too thin. 5/10