National Express East Coast

Morning Toast on the East Coast Line: RIP So, it's farewell to those triangles of warm toast (choice of white or brown) served on a sparkling sideplate with thick paper napkin on the early morning train down to London then. That perfect alternative to the full English for those of us with waists too big for our trousers and cholesteral counts too high for our GPs . No longer can we sit back and spread the butter thick then watch it soak into the toast while passing through Newark at 125mph. No longer can we savour the rare taste of real butter with preserve or marmalade of choice while reading the papers for the meeting - or perhaps The Times if we have already read them. Or gazing out of the window at the early morning mist hovering over the flatlands of Lincolnshre while the butter melts down the gullet. No more the cheery "That'll be £1.20 please sir" from the waitress with an appreciative smile at the passenger who bothered to ensure he had some change before he got on the train so she wouldn't have to go back to the galley to find some.

No longer England. No longer. Instead, the "Bacon Toastie". Alas. And the sparkling teacup, saucer and bright stainless steel teaspoon rattling as we pass over the points at Grantham? What happened to them? Gone. Replaced by ... A mug and a wooden stick!

Say no more. Mrs. Choudray down at the corner shop says the bloody country's going to the dogs. Now I see she's right!