Britannia Hotel, Coventry

Oh dear.

No parking so I was directed to a public car park near the bus station. Went down to the restaurant and there was a set menu which did have sirloin steak as a supplement. Ordered a paté starter and medium rare steak. Asked if they could turn the side salad into a caesar salad and they agreed. House wine was a mystery but I ordered it anyway as £15 for a mediocre french red seemed over the top. Turned out to be vino de tavola of dubious origin. Paté arrived like lightning (before wine). OK but standard fare.

Steak was slow arriving and the chef came to my table and apologised before cooking it that she might not do it very well. It was well done. No sign of Caesar salad. Eventually half way through the steak the chef came to my table again and said the Caesar salad wouldn't be long - she was still cooking the chicken. I pointed out the obvious error and the salad arrived by return post. Lettuce, tomatoes, croutons and dressing.

Declined a pud. Retired to bed. Steak and chips was OK (6/10) but salad was poor (4/10) Research revealed that the chef was 16 and on her own that night. Can't really blame her, more poor management.

TV remote control didn't work.

I was prepared in the morning as I checked out for the question "Everything alright sir?" to which I had prepared a lengthy answer but no such enquiry forthcame. They did however sell me a car park exit ticket for 50p. How thoughtful. Strangely the car park barrier was up so the 50p ticket was not required.

Anglesey Arms, Menai Bridge

Local steak very good 7/10. Asked for medium rare but got medium. Mushrooms were well cooked (memo to self: can one get medium rare mushooms). Asked if the side salad could be turned into a Caesar salad and the answer was "Not until tomorrow" "But Chef can knock up a mustard dressing!!" Standard honey & Mustard dressing No. 1 ensued.

GNER same train

Went to restaurant Car. No spaces in resto. Asked serveuse if I could use my GNER time card to obtain my free half bottle of wine. Consultation with juvenile plongeur. No sir, You have to be buying a meal to get the half bottle. So standing here buying a cheese and ham toastie no but sitting down 10 yards away buying a simple starter of crayfish soup and nothing else yes.

"Er yes"

"Don't worry I still have the 2 for 1 option don't I? - I'll have two 25cl bottles of wine"

"OK Sir - Oh I'm afraid I only have a half bottle - will that do?"

"OK How much?"

"Half price Sir"

Went back to the cheap seats and rattled my jewellry.

GNER, Ascot week

The 1703 was cancelled. Wrong type of management on the line. Two trains full of people piled onto the 1733. Restaurant service was limited to first class. Me and my standard class jumped up upgrade to first class just wasn't going to get a look in. Resigned to fate. Did Times Sudoku while perching on an incidental seat. No Meal

While queueing at Wakefield to pay the parking fee I was assailed by a wily traveller who spotted the vast numbers trying to get the 1733 and instead took the Hull Executive (1720 stops at Doncaster). "Who the *** wants to go to Hull?" Turns out the resto car was half empty and they got a good meal and swapped trains at Doncaster and picked up the emptying 1703 to complete their journey.

Take away volcano pizza from Quattro. Quite tasty. No Caesar salad but bottle of Red wine quaffed in 15 mins ( local personal best). Must have been the stress.

GNER's Go Eat

GNER's Go Eat Shocking name for a restaurant. Must mention that next time I write to them. Thursday 16th June. Wakefield to London King's Cross. The train started at York and most of the customers had come from this year's Royal Ascot so most of the dishes had already gone ("Shall I go through what's left before you look at the menu sir?"). What was left was palatable. The crab fishcake starter was - well, just a fishcake really. Was it crab? Oh, really? Thoughtfully served with some Rocket and a cheesy saucy thingy that had a nice tang to it. Guinea Fowl for main course. Was it Guinea Fowl? Oh, really? Wasn't chicken then? Okay, can't complain. Come to think of it, it was smaller than chicken breast and had a little bone on the end. Tasty nonetheless. Served with nicely cooked boiled new potatoes that were still firm to the knife (none of your mushy overcooked stuff), fresh carrots that were some of the best I have tasted - small, whole, tasted of the earth. Fine sauce (gravy to you and me) to accompany. Dessert was not memorable - so I have forgotten. The half-bottle of Chilean Merlot helped in the memory loss process. Some of the best conversation I've had at dinner on a train, with a Greek computer whizz who taught me how to charcoal lamb correctly (did you know that marjoram was just made for lamb?) and his colleague, a yound Anglo-Indian who taught me the real benefits of using a virtual network. Haven't had so much fun since I sat next to Bishop (who'd just done prayers for the House of Lords) and opposite a socialite who recognised him because he had confirmed her daughter - but didn't know why the dessert was called an Eton Mess since her husband had been to Eton and they had no such dish there. Ah yes, the Eton Mess. But that's another story.

Not to forget the lovely coffee and fine chocolate to finish. Somewhere around the £29 mark.

Daily Bread - Paris

Pain Quotedien (Daily Bread) At the foot of rue Mouffetard, 5th arrondisement, with a fine view of the frenetic market. Just fabulous food. Fresh, unpretentious and unspoilt quality ingredients. The Brunch on a Saturday defies superlatives. Giant plate. Four cheeses (Emmental, chevre of some sort, Brie etc.); cured ham, scrambled eggs (one daughter was aghast that her simple boiled egg could taste that good); smoked salmon with a piece of lemon to crush the juice; crunchy salad with a Roquefort dressing and tomatoes that tasted of the tomato plant; rye bread, wholemeal and croissant; a choice of six spreads - chocolate, praline, apricot and the other three I didn't have room for; fresh butter; two bowls of coffee (hot chocolate if you prefer); orange juice. Just 19€ the lot. I couldn't possibly have eaten it all.

My other daughter argued like Hell with the waiter who didn't want to let two of us share the Brunch - but we won in the end. My daugher assures me that they don't usually argue like that.

Castle Hotel, Neath

Sunday night in Neath apparently is the biggest night of the week. All the locals were strutting their stuff in the main street and the disco beat rent the night asunder. I ordered a Welsh Sirloin and salad. Ten minutes later a mixed grill arrived. Realising his mistake the waiter did a swift U turn and it disappeared back into the kitchen. Ten minutes later the steak arrived. It was very good, 8/10 . The salad however was poor. I asked if there was a caesar dressing but regrettably no.

"I'll ask chef what he can do"
"He can do a basil and mustard dressing"
"OK"

It saved the day. (6/10)

GNER, between London and Yorkshire

Usually a good event. Today the bread arrived after the starter, the starter salad of pears, spinach, chicory, blue cheese and walnuts arrived sans walnuts and 10 minutes afterwards the waiter brought a tray. (of walnuts). Steak was OK (but everyone will live in the shadow of Duncan Fraser for some time). This medium was nearly well done. Not a trace of blood anywhere. Cheese for dessert was ok. Tyrells Shiraz half bottle very good but nearly a tenner. thankfully I was using GNER time vouchers and my entire meal with a free half bottle of house red was under a tenner. 7/10 today guys - try again tomorow.

Garfunkels, Glasgow Airport

Surprisingly Good. American Hot Pizza with thin crust but good jalapenoes and plenty of taste. (7/10) Their Caesar salad had plenty of good cos lettuce and lashings of dressing and many parmesan shavings but the croutons were small rounds of fried bread and they were 5 in number. (7/10) 2 glasses of red wine and only £16-60 the lot.

John McNab’s, Inverness

Menu looked expensive but selected a Rib eye steak and asked waitress if they had a Caesar salad. They didn’t but she would ask chef to see if he could make one. Message came back – no anchovies. I’ll have one without anchovies then. Wine was Chilean merlot and surprisingly expensive and a touch raw. The meal itself was excellent. The steak was from a local butcher (Duncan Fraser of Inverness) and I asked for medium. It arrived medium rare but was one of the best steaks I’ve had in years. One and a half inches high, solid meat, beautifully black in parts and rare in others. There were handmade chips, vegetable crisps and tasty mushrooms. There was white space on the plate. In addition there was a Caesar salad. No anchovies and no parmesan but a very tasty salad with bacon lardons that wasn’t even on the menu. And they only charged £1-75 for it. £32 for one person. Expensive wine being most of the bill. Still 9/10 for the salad and 10/10 for the steak.

La Grande Cote, St Palais sur mer

Fantastic. Sitting outside overlooking the Gironde estuary. Waves break 20 metres below you; joggers punctuate the scenery; dogs interrupt the serenity. Order a bottle of Bourgeuil and the waitress asks if we want it room temperature or chilled (as one does with Loire wines). Gratin de fruits de mer with scallops and mussels; magret de canard cooked in local sea salt (again the waitress asked if I wanted it pink or cooked) , ice cream to follow. Wife had a small bateau de fruit de mer. Just £26 for 2. Onze sur dix.

Chez Roberte, La Tremblade

At the end of a very long road leading towards the river Seudre you find a specialist fish restaurant. Mussels of all sorts; plateau de fruits de mer so enormous you can't see over the top of it. Kept it moderate with mackerel, salmon, mussels plus a sharp muscadet. Salad surprisingly poor and undressed. 8/10

The Palm Beach, La Palmyre

Octopus, Galette with ham and cheese, Ice Cream all for just 10 euro. Wife had Salad seguin (with goats cheese); escalope de porc, ice cream for 15 euro. Throw in a litre of house red and the entire bill 33 euros for 2 people. Cheap cheerful and good quality 8/10

Cafe du port, Brittany ferries

Crayfish Soup, Gargantua d'agneau, Bourgeuil; excellent and cheap. Started as we left Portsmouth and finished mid channel. 9/10